Bernkastel in Dreamland
by LadyEvatrice
Summary: Based on a FB roleplay. Chapter 1 focuses on the character I roleplay, Eva-Beatrice.
1. The Last Queen, Like It or Not

**Bernkastel in Dreamland**

**Vocaloid plus our Facebook Roleplay group is the inspiration for this. I'll first start with my character, and her relationship, THEN go into Alicekastel.**

**Chapter 1: The Last Queen, Like It or Not**

The kingdom was expected to witness every execution the Queen mandated necessary to view, which was every other execution. The ones the King of Hearts conducted, according to the people, if there were any, must be done privately. The Queen ordered her subjects to view the execution for several reasons she made rather obvious.

Eva-Beatrice Yami, the Endless Witch and wife to Mariku the King, was madly in love with her husband, quite literally. Anyone she caught attempting to flirt with him, gave him a lustful glance, or looked interested in him was either executed on the spot or locked in the dungeon to the point of dehydration, and then killed with a guillotine. So, the subjects were typically scared into her wish for them to stay away from her love, though some were clearly stupid and never got the message, thus having the Queen repeat the process.

Aside from her love of killing cruelly and unusually, she wanted to impress her dear Mariku. She naturally worshiped Yuno Gasai as the yandere goddess, and knew that Mariku was fond of bloodshed himself, so she offered these witless subjects as sacrifices to both Mariku and Yuno. Unsurprisingly, he cuddled her like a puppy after the executions.

None of the subjects of this twisted Wonderland would have expected the Queen and King to have children, since Eva-Beatrice wanted her husband's attention almost constantly, but they had two adopted children: Satoshi and Satoko Houjou. Eva-Beatrice spoiled them "sweetly," as she put it. She also had a servant, Mammon of Greed, who was also "spoiled sweetly".

Eva-Beatrice enjoyed her life as the Queen of Hearts, even if she resented that some of her subjects wanted her husband. One day, she sat in his lap on his throne. "Marik-sama, I think I am with child… your child, of course. I want to name our child, if it's a girl… Yasu."

"Is that so… after your relative with a split personality…" Mariku put his arms around her waist. "I presume that our daughter would be just as insane as we are, if not more so."

"Marik-sama, please make love to me." Mariku looked at his wife, skeptical. "Don't worry. Doing it while I'm pregnant won't hurt Yasu, I swear on it." Eva-Beatrice kissed him.

The Hatter, Eva-Beatrice's little sister, dragged in a woman by her hair. "Aneki! Dead!"

Eva-Beatrice stepped down, taking her sister's hat off and ruffling her hair. "Thank you, Rena. Feel free to take Mammon with you in search of cute things. Such a sweet girl." Rena bowed, and took off with Mammon. The witch stopped smiling gently and had the demented look of a demon twisted onto her face, directed at her subject. "You fools truly are foolish. Marik-sama is all mine, and yet you lust after him… When will you idiots learn this lesson, I wonder?"

The Queen's older brother, the White Rabbit, sighed. "Just execute her, imouto."

Eva-Beatrice cackled. "How perfecto, Bakura-Onii-kun! Off. With. Her. HEAD." Eva-Beatrice made an axe appear in her hand and cut off her shrieking subject's head. "Not even _you_ should have to pick up that _disgusting_ wench's head, Onii-kun. I'll _gladly_ remove it. Siesta 410! Move the body! Onii-kun, please entertain Marik-sama while we do this, or else." Eva-Beatrice casually picked up the head, and the bunny girl with short light blue hair used her energy lines to carry the body. They went out to the moat and tossed in the head and body for the sea monsters to devour, as they always did. "Thank you, Siesta 410. Go wherever…"

"Thank you, Eva-sama, nyeh! Ni hi hi!" Siesta 410 vanished, Eva-Beatrice alone.

Eva-Beatrice sighed. "Marik-sama, I love you. Why will those wretched wenches never realize that you're all mine, and that I'm entirely yours? I'm always falling in love with you, and you aren't even trying to make me fall in love. Now, the things that will definitely kill me are the Blue Truth, boredom, and not being with you… anyone who gets between us… _will_ die. No one will ever love you like I do… and now that we have Yasu, you can't leave me, or I'll end up indiscriminately killing everyone dear to us… like Medea, you know!" she laughed.

"Aneki! Mammon-chan and I found and brought the Alice to you!" Rena ran up to her sister. "It's Bernkastel-sama… she's Alice. She said she followed Aniki, but lost him somewhere along the way…" Rena clasped her hands. "Bernkastel-sama looks so cute! She really does!"

Eva-Beatrice smiled, missing how Rena spoke in third-person. "Thank you, Rena."

Mammon and Bernkastel approached them. "Ah, Bernkastel-sama. Onii-kun will probably be quite excited to see you. But first… we have to play mind games with him and pretend to torture you, when in actuality… my servants will be catering to your whims." Eva-Beatrice curtsied to the superior witch, surprising the two men right behind her. "Siestas, take Bernkastel-Alice-sama away to the…" she coughed, "dungeon. There, we will torture her."

Rena clapped. "Yay! I guess that's more bonding time for Aneki and Mariku-kun!"

Bernkastel faked a frightened tone. "_Oh no_! You have to _rescue_ me, Bakura-sama!"

The Siestas led Bernkastel away; Bakura tried to strangle his regal sister. "Evatrice! You're effing torturing my WIFE! I'd steal Marik away from you, but that isn't enough!"

Evatrice scoffed. "Idiot Onii-kun… I have a proposal for you, in return for her freedom. Go out and bring the miserable wenches in the kingdom that want MY Marik-sama, and bring them to me for execution, or kill them on the spot. I don't care what you do, as long as they're dead. Thank Ra war crime trials don't exist here in Wonderland…" She grinned.

Bakura sighed. "Whatever, imouto. Lisette makes a better Queen, but I'll go do as you wish… though I'm not doing it for you, you know. It's to make you let Bernakstel-sama go free."

Evatrice giggled, clinging to Mariku. She pointed her wand at her brother and held it at his neck. "Do whatever it takes to bring the majority of them here, or it's off with her head~!"

Rena curtsied. "Aniki, you're such a tsundere. You're so easy to troll, you are."

Bakura stormed over to the little town near the castle, where most of the "miserable wenches" lived that he knew of. Rena and Mammon ran off in the direction of the tea party.

Eva-Beatrice smiled. "Marik-sama! Let's go torture some victims, or each other!"

"I'll torture you the way you like me to…" Mariku picked up his witch and carried her to their room, tickling her under her chin the whole time. "You certainly enjoy this torture…"

"Kya ha ha ha! I-I do…!" Eva-Beatrice laughed. "Th-thank you, Marik-sama…"

**In actuality, Bakura was less reasonable and actually hid Bernkastel, who is currently plotting an escape from where Bakura hid her. Evatrice is just blackmailing the heck out of him. Though Evatrice's husband is referred to as Mariku out of quotations and with others, he's called Marik in front of him, Bernkastel, and Bakura.  
**

**Author's Notes**

**Yuno Gasai, yandere goddess-**_**Scroll halfway down the page of Parthenon of Emotions on tvtropes and find the entry on Yuno Gasai. She's also classified as the Goddess of Mad Love, with her love interest Yukiteru as the God of Mad Love.**_

**Yasu**-_**Yasu is the name of the true identity of the Golden Witch in **_**Umineko No ****Na****ku Koro Ni**_** and **_**Umineko Chiru**_**. Yasu's gender is unknown and Yasu has at least three split personalities.**_

**Foolish Fools-**_**Franziska Von Karma from **_**Phoenix Wright**_** calls people this.**_

**Anyone who gets in the way…-**_**Yuno is quoted as saying this in **_**Mirai Mikki(Future Diary)**_**.**_

**Medea-**_**The lady of Greek mythology is the original yandere who killed her husband's new wife, the wife's father, and her and her husband's two sons.**_

**Let's torture each other-**_**Beatrice says to Battler, "Let's start torturing each other!"**_


	2. Shikkōsha: Shinkirō Sōsakusha

**Bernkastel in Dreamland**

Chapter 2: Shikkō-sha: Shinkirō Sōsaku-sha

**The title means "Executioner: Mirage Creator," which is a shout-out to the only themes I found creepy in Umineko (Bernkastel's "The Executioner" and Lambdadelta's "Mirage Coordinator"). While it's told in Rena's POV, it focuses on the Sorcerer of Death/King of Hearts. Curiosity killed the Kitty…?**

Rena poured tea for her sister. "How are you and Mariku-kun, Aneki?" Eva-Beatrice choked on her tea. "I wonder, I wonder… has Mariku-kun treated you sweetly, Aneki?"

Eva-Beatrice always blushed when Mariku's name was mentioned, and this was no explanation. "In Wonderland… we haven't seen each other much, I'll admit. But, Mariku-sama and I… for us, absence makes the heart grow stronger. I rule in his place as Queen…"

Rena smiled. "I guess Aneki hasn't seen him in his torture room. Ah! I'll see it for you!"

Eva-Beatrice continued the usual routine, unaware it was a usual routine. "R-Really, Rena…? I… I don't know how to thank you… ah! Well, since you kind of live here, you can play with Siesta 410, 556, and Mammon, all you like! And bring Asmo and Luci, too!"

Rena nodded. "Of course, Aneki." Rena stood up and asked, "Who else has seen it…?"

"I think failure Onii-chan has seen the torture room. Ask him where it is…"

Rena ran out the door towards her mansion, assuming the White Rabbit was there trying to steal it. "Aniki…? There you are! Rena requires your help, now!" She picked him up and ran to the castle. "Now, tell Rena where Mariku-kun's torture room is! Tell Rena now!"

Bakura sighed. "I hate that you aren't sweet in Wonderland, Rena. The entrance is by the Pool of Tears… which might get renamed to the Pool of Blood, based on that fact..."

Rena smiled, and put him down. "Take me there, Aniki! Or _I'll_ kidnap Bernkastel-sama! And then I'll take her to Aneki, and she'll personally torture her~!" Rena laughed.

"You two have lost your effing minds! Fine!" Bakura led Rena to the entrance. "Can I go now, Rena?" Rena shook her head, and dragged him through the entrance. "Dammit…" Rena hummed, but stopped smiling when they got to the main door. "It's not as bad as you think Rena… in fact, it might actually be much worse. Welcome to Marik's torture room."

"Well, I certainly didn't expect you two to come down here… are you some kind of Wonderland Inquisition?" Mariku asked, dragging an unconscious body beside him. "Since you're down here, would you like to partake in this torture, or watch, may I ask?"

Rena spoke up. "Um, Mariku-kun… as Aneki's adviser, she sent me to go see the torture room and what you do in here… and only Aniki and you are the sole survivors of it…"

"True, true. I'll take Eva-chan down here sometime when we can have Satoshi rule over the kingdom for an hour or two." He pushed open the door, and threw the person in. "Come!"

Rena looked around in the torture room, receiving a chill down her spine every now and then. She looked up, and saw a pendulum in the shape of a scythe swing across the ceiling. Most everything else had an edgier version of the torture room under the Sonozaki house, with the addition of many more tools generally associated with killing. "Rena's cleaver, is that…"

"No. I wouldn't dare steal your cleaver, Rena. I forced a subject to create one in its likeness, though. He thankfully has no eyes for my Evatrice… take that literally, if you'd like." Mariku laughed. "The best kind of torture to inflict is mental torture, then to kill them when they are broken. My rules for this kingdom are simple. Do as you like, as long as you don't lust for or annoy Evatrice or me. Clearly, this fool thinks that he can go after my Evatrice… he can just DIE. Of course, only after I torture him." Rena shuddered upon seeing Mariku's demented grin. "Oh, by the by, Bakura, could you grab me that scythe in the corner? Thanks." Mariku then whacked Bakura with the scythe. "You should know that Evatrice tells me pretty much everything. Did you think you could get away with throwing a rock and scythe at her?"

"Clearly not… can you just get on with the torture show already?" Bakura griped.

Mariku disregarded Bakura with a wave of his hand. "Yes, yes. Let the Sorcerer of Death do what he does best, other than love Evatrice: Kill. You two, back away. I'll go into the lower circle." He hummed a song Rena recognized as Bernkastel-Alice's theme for battle, kicking the guy into the circle. "Lady Bernkastel may be the Executioner out there, but the only executioner in this place is me." He called upon Siesta 410 to have the man in the machine that would pull his intestines out. "I read enough up on Hinamizawa's torture methods to do this properly."

"What you mean by properly… is probably the more sadistic way…" Rena whispered.

As if Mariku could read her thoughts-and he probably could-Mariku grinned. "This torture will keep you alive the entire time… and with my ability to bring you back, as my angelic Evatrice can, I'll kill you in the style she kills for fun… over and over, you wretch."

Rena shuddered, but still didn't feel pity for the man being tortured. To Rena, no one, absolutely no one –except the kids- came between Eva-Beatrice and Mariku in this fragment. So, if they needed to kill anyone who tried, then so be it, though the levels they went to were rather questionable. Rena didn't dare speak her thoughts, as she didn't want her sister angry.

"Are you enjoying this, Rena?" Bakura asked in a whisper. Rena didn't even need to see the grin on her older brother's face or hear the excitement in his voice to know that he got sadistic pleasure from watching Mariku work the machine that pulled out the victim's intestines. Rena also knew that he asked a rhetorical question. Rena hit her brother with her wand and sighed.

Mariku lapped up the blood on his fingers. "Your blood doesn't taste as sweet as the blood of my Evatrice, but it will suffice." He used the scythe's edges to cut a shallow gash across the man's chest. "And this still isn't enough, having killed you once. Let's do it again." Black butterflies hovered around his finger tips, and the man was fixed with magic. "Let's go… ah! I've got it! Driving nails into every joint on your finger, cutting your head off while you're alive, and then bringing you back to saw your face off while you're alive! Aha ha ha!"

"Hey, what was that? I need you to say that again, so I have some ideas! I didn't hear you clearly-ow!" Rena punched her brother in the arm. "Okay, I'll shut up now! Jeez!"

Mariku, by the time this had happened, was already finished with driving nails into both hands. He had small traces of blood spattered on his maroon king's cape, and some drops of blood were on his arms and fingers, but otherwise, he was blood-free, while his victim's hands were saturated in blood. Mariku tossed the hammer aside. "Well, back to the scythe my precious Queen gave me…" He kissed the ribbon on the double-bladed scythe; Rena recognized it as the ribbon from Eva-Beatrice's dress, and then remembered that her sister had given Mariku the scythe as one of her many Valentine's Day gifts to him. Rena cringed, closing her eyes as Mariku cut the man's head off; she sighed as Bakura let out a, "Hell yeah!" Mariku wiped the blood off his face, shaking it off his hands. "Well, time to revive this guy…"

Rena only imagined Mariku bringing the man back to life; it was far too horrifying for her to look. "Hey, Rena? You can look now… he's back to life. But, if you don't want to…"

Bakura put his hands over Rena's eyes. "Don't worry… I've got this, Rena. Aniki's got it! Just stop trying to kill me when I'm drunk… I don't mean it…" he whispered to her.

Rena smiled slightly, but still shuddered when she heard the man scream. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry… this is for Aneki and Mariku-kun…" she said, reassuring herself.

Rena seemed to wait for an eternity before she heard Mariku call out, "You can take your hands off her eyes, Bakura. I threw the body into the portal Gaap had for me…" She blinked upon seeing the blood-spattered torture room. "Well, what did you think?"

"Quite excellent. Now, if there had been a death via chandelier… that would have been even more epic!"Bakura was grinning gleefully. "Complete with opera music and singing! Hey, Rena, you saw the torture chamber. Can we get out of here before he decides to cook us?"

"Y-yes… thank you, Mariku-kun," Rena bowed. She pulled her brother out of the torture room. "What do I tell Aneki, Aniki? I couldn't handle it, not even a bit…!"

"I'll tell her. In exchange, convince Bernkastel-sama to wear cat ears for me, okay?"

**There were several breaks occurring between the start of this piece and now. But, having listened to "The Executioner" and "Mirage Coordinator" while writing it, I feel accomplished. I was going to detail Mariku's brutal tortures more, but one can only write so much gore when publishing it in a school paper. So, See you again.**

**Author's Notes**

Aneki, Aniki**-Rena refers to Eva-Beatrice (older sister) and Bakura (older brother) as these, respectively.**

Wonderland Inquisition**-Mariku makes a reference to a Monty Python sketch.**

Pendulum on the ceiling**-A reference to Edgar Allen Poe's **_**The Pit and the Pendulum**_**, and very loosely on the Nightwish song "Poet and the Pendulum."**

…can just DIE**-Mariku makes a reference to Yuno Gasai of **_**Mirai Nikki**_**.**

Circles**-Mariku designed his torture room after the **_**Divine Comedy**_**, the torture room in **_**Higurashi**_**, and the previously mentioned pendulum references.**

Bernkastel's theme**-Mariku hums Bernkastel's (**_**Umineko**_** witch, Bakura's wife here) **_**Requiem of the Golden Witch**_** theme, "The Executioner."**

The deaths**-Driving nails into the hands and pulling out intestines are **_**Higurashi**_** references. The decapitation is a reference to Erika killing people in **_**Dawn of the Golden Witch**_**. The cutting the face off is a reference to the first deaths in **_**Legend of the Golden Witch**_**.**

I'm sorry…**-Rena's reference to the series she's from, **_**Higurashi**_**.**

Gaap**-In **_**Umineko**_**, Gaap is a demon who can transport things and people via portals.**

Chandelier, Opera**-Bakura makes a reference to Gaston LeRoux's **_**The Phantom of the Opera**_** (the book). A chandelier is dropped on someone (and this was based on a real event in which a chandelier fell on an old woman, unintentionally) in the book. Of course, everything happens at on opera house, and singing is a major part of it.**


End file.
